By Dr. Bharti Raizada
It is not uncommon to see children expressing their wish to get their hair, teeth, eyebrows etc. fixed, only for cosmetic reasons. They frequently get negative or degrading comments on their external appearance by other children.
So easily people address others by nicknames which are based on external features e.g. motu(fat), Patlu(thin), Lamboo(tall), Chutku(Small), Kalla(black), Gora(white), Ganja(bald) etc.
Years back a colleague told me, that I might look beautiful if I wore jewelry with my saree.
Several months back, one of my friends made a statement that he was shocked to see an old look on my face. I still cannot believe that he stated that as he calls himself a real friend. Seriously? If you find someone on social media after a hiatus of 10 plus years, will that person still look same as she used to years back?
Then one other person commented that I should start taking care of myself, as I do not look as beautiful as some other ladies.
There were many more instances like these.
This all made me think, what is beauty? How do we measure it? Who has the right to give judgment on beauty? What makes someone beautiful? Moreover, is looking beautiful a good thing or no? Should we strive to look beautiful?
Yes, of course. Looking beautiful does help. It gives pleasure and self-confidence. It leaves an impression on others, adds to enthusiasm, and helps in social interactions. Everyone likes beauty and beautiful things. The question is who sets the standards of beauty and how far should we go to get that?
Is there a difference in someone looking beautiful and someone with a beautiful soul, thoughts, and ethics? Is external beauty important or beautiful health, hygiene, and thought?
Can a not so-called beautiful lady who does not go to hair salons, beauty parlors, massage centers, facial places, be a good mother or wife or sister?
Should a not so good- looking man, who is devoted to his family, is a social activist and has good work ethics, be called ugly?
We know that external beauty is not eternal and it is true that we do not carve ourselves and choose our skin color. Whatever beauty we have that also vanishes with time. We all age and die. Who is immortal here?
Does external beautification make us happy forever? Is this happiness perpetual? Do we become a better person after all this?
We know that the answer is No.
It is the internal beauty, which is everlasting. When you are beautiful from inside, you develop an aura and ravishing energy around you. The glow and self-confidence that comes with this is the real beauty and it does not depend on cosmetics, surgeries, tattoos, chemicals etc.
Doing efforts to look beautiful is not wrong but if we are doing this to get accepted by others and are willing to suffer to get beauty compliments and likes on social media, then I do not think that it is worth it.
Everyone is unique. Not every famous, good, successful person is beautiful in looks as per societal standards. Remember, Shivji, Kali, and Krishna had dark colored skin. Asthavakra had body deformities, yet he was a very knowledgeable person. After all, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
Imagine a world where everyone has same beauty due to beauty products and cosmetic procedures. All plants are same, all birds are same, all animals are same, and all humans look same. Then who will you call beautiful? How will you measure beauty then? Where will we find the uniqueness then?
I urge you; please do not criticize others for their looks and color. Rise above this sordid and nasty behavior. There are many other wonderful things to do than to shake the confidence of others. Be constructive and develop the skills to see inner beauty.
Documentary: Explained Plastic Surgery, Explained Beauty, and Explained Your Skin on Netflix