Forgiveness or Kshama
Forgiveness means not to hold anger, resentment, revenge feelings, etc., against someone. Forgiveness is a choice. It is a quality that can be developed and improved. It can be one-sided or bilateral. It can be for self or others.
Mainly it is for us. After forgiving, we can focus on things important to us. Otherwise, we will keep thinking about that person or incident, leading to more karmic entanglement.
Forgiveness does not mean accepting unfairness and abuse. Forgiveness is not an endorsement of wrongdoings. It is not a sign of weakness. Do whatever is needed to uphold the Dharma but do not accumulate hate and intolerance inside you.
Forgiveness is not a completely benign act. There are consequences of forgiveness if given to the wrong people at the wrong place and time. It may even encourage people who are on the wrong side or path and may become a danger to many.
There is no forgiveness for our Karmas. What you do for others, you ultimately do for yourself. Forgiveness does not apply here.
Types of Forgiveness:
- Apkar Kshama- (non-spiritual) when you look down on people and forgive them as they are not worthy of your attention and do not matter to you. You forgive someone as you are afraid of your safety and well being.
- Upkar Kshama (non-Spiritual)- when unwillingly given to elders, respected people, etc., because you do not want to argue with them and show disrespect. You have society imposed gratitude for them as they have done something for you in the past.
- Vipak Kshama (non-Spiritual)- when given to people in power positions as you have no other option and need favors from them.
- Vachan Kshama (Spiritual)- You forgive someone irrespective of their social status and relationship to you. You know ( from spiritually elevated people and ancient texts) that it is a virtue and you are trying to improve or develop your qualities.
- Swabhav Kshama (spiritual)- forgiveness is your nature. It comes from your consciousness. You understand that everyone is on a different journey in this world, and there is Divine inside everyone. This type of forgiveness is not dependent on the person or act, whether the person deserves forgiveness or not.
Bharti Raizada
I want to emphasize that it is a choice, not a compulsion. In my personal experience, I have been forgiven by cosmic powers many times. I have been on the receiving end of forgiveness from teachers, friends, relatives, neighbors, etc.
Anyone can develop and nurture this quality. It is hard but not impossible. It is for our inner peace and upliftment. Challenges and obstacles come in everyone's life. How we deal with those is what makes us unique.
Who deserves respect or who is elder:
- One who is bigger in size
- One who is elder than us
- One who is the cause or karan e.g. Gold is the cause of ornaments
- One who is right or has the right/adhikaar
- One who is able/capable, has yogyata