There are four types of love or prem:
- Kama or lust
- Sadharan
- Samanjasya
- Samartha
Kam Dev is Devta of Love and Rati is Devi of Love.
Sadharan prem is of selfish type. It is not even worthy of the term prem. Here the lover only cares about her happiness and demands. She has no concern for her beloved's happiness and requirements. There are demands, expectations, control, possessiveness, jealousy, resentment, grudges, insecurity, etc. It is parasitic behavior.
Samanjasya is an adjustment in which the lover cares about her beloved but also keeps her happiness as the top priority. It is like a symbiotic relationship. Both lover and beloved are in love with each other until their expectations and needs are fulfilled.
Samartha is real prem. In this, the lover only cares about her beloved's happiness and well-being, even if it is at the cost her suffering. She may or may not express her love for her beloved. Lover may even suffer in silence, hiding the tears inside. She may not see and talk to her beloved for a long time but keeps giving positive thoughts and energy to him. She always wishes the best for him. This prem has tyag in it. There is joy in giving and loving selflessly and tirelessly. The foundation of this prem is spiritual. Beloved's happiness is the happiness of the lover.
Samarth love leads to spiritual upliftment.
And, then there is Bhakti, Atma prem, Vatsalya, Maitri, Dasya bhav, Sakha bhav, Madhur bhav, and Santa bhav for other relations.
Symbols of love
- Ram setu (Ram Sita)
- Path made by Dashrath Manjhi
- Meghdoot by Kalidas (Yaksh and Yakshini)
- Abhigyan Shakuntalam (Dushyant Sakuntala)
Husband-Wife Prem
- Shiv Parvati
- Vashisth Arundhati
- Lxman Urmila
- Savitri Satyavan
- Gandhari Dritrastra
- Nal Damyanti
Guru Shisya
- Chanakya Chandragupt
- Krishn Arjun
- Adishankracharya Totaka
Parents Chidren
- Shravan Kumar
- Ram Dashrath
Community Love
Adishankracharya and many other Rishis
Love for Nation
Veer Savarkar
Global Love
Swami Vivekananda
Yogananda
Prem for all lives
Raja Shivi gave his thigh mass to save a bird.
Bhakti for Bhagwan
Meera Bai
Hanuman
Ramkrishan Parmahans
Bhavas:
- Daas
- Vatsalya
- Sakha
- madhur
- shant
If we love someone we should not expect the same love back from them. We love someone because we feel like loving but that other person may not have the same feelings for us. This should not become a reason to feel rejected, betrayed, etc. We should not victimize ourselves, complain, and curse them. Everyone has their own life and priorities. If they want to go please let them go gracefully.
It is indeed very painful but do not make it an excuse not to move forward with life. There is no way we can turn another person's life the way we want. We can love them infinitely and eternally but we have no control over their life events. Everyone has their own path. No matter how much we love our parents, neighbors, brothers, sisters, or relatives, we cannot control their life.
We cannot even keep our own children in our care forever. It is painful but true. One day they will be independent with no parental control.
Sita's father was a king she still had to go to the forest, she was kidnapped, sent to the forest again while pregnant, and had to take the fire test (Agni pariksha).
Kunti and Dropadi were princesses but they had to stay out of the palace for years.
Ram had to go to the forest. His parents were not able to reverse his fate. Parents had all the power but were still powerless and helpless.
At some point, parents are powerless and helpless to protect their children. Letting them go to pursue their dreams and life is hard but we have no other option. So please make some time for them whenever it is possible. Try to create memories for yourself as well as for them. These memories are the only things that we cherish later on. These make the unbreakable bond and can be relieved anywhere and at any time.
We can give values and guidance to children or anyone else but we cannot control them and choose what to get back from them.
Making ourselves content is all that we can do.
Bharti Raizada
When you are aware, a totally different kind of love will arise in your heart -- which is absolutely true, which is part of eternity. But that is not a need -- it is a luxury. And you have so much of it that you hanker for somebody to share it with.
Just like clouds when they are so full of rainwater: they would like to shower anywhere, upon anybody. And they don't bother whether it is a hilly track they are showering on, whether it is rocky ground they are showering on, or whether it is fertile soil thirsty for them -- they don't bother. They go on raining on rocks, on fertile soil, on everybody -- good and bad, thirsty, non-thirsty; needed, not needed. Because it is not a question now of whether you need; it is a question now that they are so full they have to share.
I love you -- not because I need. I love you simply because what else can I do now? It is there and I would like to shower it on you, and I go on showering -- unconditionally. It is not that you deserve it -- never think that. You know and I know that you don't deserve it, but that is not the point. What else can I do?
~ Osho.
गले का कैंसर था। पानी भी भीतर जाना मुश्किल हो गया, भोजन भी जाना मुश्किल हो गया। तो विवेकानंद ने एक दिन अपने गुरुदेव रामकृष्ण परमहंस से कहा कि " आप माँ काली से अपने लिए प्रार्थना क्यों नही करते ? क्षणभर की बात है, आप कह दें, और गला ठीक हो जाएगा ! तो रामकृष्ण हंसते रहते , कुछ बोलते नहीं। एक दिन बहुत आग्रह किया तो रामकृष्ण परमहंस ने कहा - " तू समझता नहीं है रे नरेन्द्र। जो अपना किया है, उसका निपटारा कर लेना जरूरी है। नहीं तो उसके निपटारे के लिए फिर से आना पड़ेगा। तो जो हो रहा है, उसे हो जाने देना उचित है। उसमें कोई भी बाधा डालनी उचित नहीं है।" तो विवेकानंद बोले - " इतना ना सही , इतना ही कह दें कम से कम कि गला इस योग्य तो रहे कि जीते जी पानी जा सके, भोजन किया जा सके ! हमें बड़ा असह्य कष्ट होता है, आपकी यह दशा देखकर । " तो रामकृष्ण परमहंस बोले "आज मैं कहूंगा। "
जब सुबह वे उठे, तो जोर जोर से हंसने लगे और बोले - " आज तो बड़ा मजा आया । तू कहता था ना, माँ से कह दो । मैंने कहा माँ से, तो मां बोली -" इसी गले से क्या कोई ठेका ले रखा है ? दूसरों के गलों से भोजन करने में तुझे क्या तकलीफ है ? "
हँसते हुए रामकृष्ण बोले -" तेरी बातों में आकर मुझे भी बुद्धू बनना पड़ा ! नाहक तू मेरे पीछे पड़ा था ना । और यह बात सच है, जाहिर है, इसी गले का क्या ठेका है ? तो आज से जब तू भोजन करे, समझना कि मैं तेरे गले से भोजन कर रहा हू। फिर रामकृष्ण बहुत हंसते रहे उस दिन, दिन भर। डाक्टर आए और उन्होंने कहा, आप हंस रहे हैं ? और शरीर की अवस्था ऐसी है कि इससे ज्यादा पीड़ा की स्थिति नहीं हो सकती ! रामकृष्ण ने कहा - " हंस रहा हूं इससे कि मेरी बुद्धि को क्या हो गया कि मुझे खुद खयाल न आया कि सभी गले अपने ही हैं। सभी गलों से अब मैं भोजन करूंगा ! अब इस एक गले की क्या जिद करनी है !"
कितनी ही विकट परिस्थिति क्यों न हो, संत कभी अपने लिए नहीं मांगते, साधू कभी अपने लिए नही मांगते, जो अपने लिए माँगा तो उनका संतत्व ख़त्म हो जाता है । वो रंक को राजा और राजा को रंक बना देते है लेकिन खुद भिक्षुक बने रहते है ।
जब आत्मा का विश्वात्मा के साथ तादात्म्य हो जाता है तो फिर अपना - पराया कुछ नही रहता, इसलिए संत को अपने लिए मांगने की जरूरत नहीं क्योंकि उन्हें कभी किसी वस्तु का अभाव ही नहीं होता !
जय श्री माँ काली भद्रकाली