Let us discuss a scenario. There is a lovely family. Mother is very passionate about kids’ artwork and saves every piece of their work. The family is moving to other place and at the last moment, the mother ends up in the hospital. Father alone does the packing and cleaning and during this process throws away the children's artwork. After moving to the new house, mother figures out that all the artwork and cards made by kids are gone. What should she do now?--Just let it go or go in depression or get angry, upset, make it a big issue, stop taking to father, humiliate him, make him apologize or let everyone know what kind of father he is?
Let us think why father did this:
Maybe he did not know that the artwork is very important to mother and she is saving that for a reason. He did not know that she wants to do something with that later on. Maybe he was never involved in that decision, there was a communication gap, and he was unaware of mother's wishes. He was trying to do the things to make smooth move to the new house. And. he was doing it all alone as mother was in the hospital. Therefore, he was taking care of kids, taking care of wife in hospital, and as well as cleaning and packing. He did whatever he thought was best.
No two people have the same thinking, likings, disliking, judgments, decisions etc. for every situation. Even when husband and wife are living together for years, still their perspective is different. They do not make the same decision for everything.
Children made these cards with love for their parents. Loss of that work does not translate into the loss of loving relations. If the mother gets angry or upset over this, it makes the situation worse. Children are quick to notice that there is something wrong between parents and if arguments are loud, they get disturbed, scared, and develop a feeling of insecurity. They will not remember the fate of cards but they will remember arguments and unhealthy relations between parents.
Do you really want to give them these traumatic memories? It is easy to recreate artwork but it is very difficult to restore strained relations.
It is okay to feel little sad as the things you saved are gone but it is not worth getting angry. Send loving vibes to people in your house. House environment and energy has a tremendous effect on all the family members.
Dr. Bharti Raizada