Monogamy vs Polygamy

Monogamy Vs Polygamy

Many Rishi's had many wives. Many Saptrishi's had many wives. Kashyap Rishi had many wives, King Vichitravirya had more than one wife, Pandu had two wives, Drithrashtra had a son from Gandhari's maid. Rishi Vyas did Niyog practice with two queens and their maid, Surya Bhagwan and Kartikey had more than one wife. Many kings had more than one wife. What was going on?

Is polygamy natural and monogamy is a later phenomenon? Is monogamy a choice or an imposed social standard? Is monogamy very rare in many mammals?

Polygamy or different gamy at different times ( i.e. mate with whoever you find at that specific time) do not need any discipline, thinking, restrictions, etc. It happens naturally. No effort is required for these. Many animals mate with whoever they find at that particular time and then move forward in their life. They do not keep track of their past mates and children. Natural for them is to just do it when needed and when available.

In Humans, polygamy may end in a monogamous relationship and monogamous relationship may end in polygamy.

People do not read only one book in their life. They read many and like some of them and do not like others. People do not eat only one dish in their whole life. They try different dishes. They may repeatedly go back to the dishes which they like. People have different friends for different purposes. Some are spiritual friends, some are friends for cooking, eating, some for discussing professional things, some for talking about routine things, some to enjoy tea/coffee, etc. One person can not fulfill all the needs of another person. However, in monogamy spouses are believed to fulfill each of these needs for each other. If they can not, then they suffer in silence.

So many times we see people telling strangers that I see my mother, father, sister, son, etc. in you or that you remind me of my daughter, brother, grandfather, etc. Can you imaging telling this to someone in the context of husband or wife? How does it sound-- I see my husband in you, you are exactly like my wife, you remind me of my husband, your style is the same as my wife, etc.

One reason monogamy people advocate is the prevention of sexually transmitted diseases. There are protective measures available for the prevention of these. People can always get diseases from others e.g. communicable diseases spread with touch, there are airborne diseases, diseases spreading through food and water, diseases transmitted through blood transfusion, living in dirty conditions, water parasites, diseases from working in mines, exposure to hazardous materials, etc.

Also, is monogamy not an attachment to a specific physical body?

Pros and cons of monogamy:

Pros:

  • Stability, Security
  • Financial convenience
  • Maternity/paternity certainty
  • Close and stable relations
  • Care for each other
  • Better care and upbringing of children
  • Help in difficult times
  • Feeling of togetherness
  • Social approval

Cons:

  • Lack of different sexual experiences
  • Less genetic diversity
  • Boredom or monotonicity
  • There may be absence of happiness
  • Feelings of getting stuck together, feeling of resentment
  • If one partner becomes impotent, the other has to suppress his/her sexual needs
  • One person may get a disease which prevents him/her to have a sexual relationship
  • Death of one may leave other alone for rest of his/her life
  • Issues of different sexual desires, different frequency, duration, type/way
  • Issues of inactivity or nonparticipation of one person
  • Cheating, extramarital affairs
  • People may become overly possessive and insecure
  • Fear of separation, divorce, and left alone
  • Loss of freedom

Some terms:

  • Sologamy-- Married to self
  • Polygamy--One man married to many females
  • Polyandry--One woman having sexual relations/marriage with many males
  • Monogamy--One man and one woman in relation. Sexual union removes duality at physical level. However, this state is not permanent.
  • Ethical non monogamy
  • Polyamory--Relationships involving more than two people and all agree to it
  • Ghost marriage--Wedding of two dead people
  • Incest--Sexual relations in close relatives
  • Rape- Forced sexual relation
  • Posthumous sealing--Wedding between a living person and a dead person
  • Bisexuality
  • Polysexuality
  • Pansexuality
  • Throuple-- Relationship between three people
  • Open relationships
  • Animism

Animism is the belief that objects, places, rocks, mountains, rivers, clouds, plants, animals,etc. all possess a distinct spiritual essence and are alive.
People marry plants, pets, birds, etc. Rain Gordon ( woman in Moscow, Russia ) married a briefcase. She believes that everything in this world is living, soul is embedded in objects and everthing has life.
In the movie 'Ankahi Kahaniya', a man falls in love with a mannequin. His fiancee was in love with a boy's picture. His grandfather loved a radio.

Sologamy-- https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-61671032
I wonder what is the procedure for sologamy divorce?
Also, if this person ever falls in love with someone else, will it be considered adultery?
During wedding will you dress as a male or a female?
People who do not marry themselves, don't they love themselves?
Does self love exists before sologamy?
After sologamy are your parents now your in laws?
Do these people have multiple/dual personality? and one personality marries other personality?
In sanatan dharm, there are brahmcharis and sanyasis. Can sologamy people be called brahmcharis and sanyasis?
Eve was created from Adam's rib. In a sense, Eve was part of Adam. Is this sologamy?

Documentary: Explained Season1- Monogamy on Netflix
Sex, Explained- five episodes


Bharti Raizada