Social media was introduced to stay in touch with friends and family but the irony is that users are spending a lot of time on screen but do not talk to real people around them, many times even failing to acknowledge the presence of a person near them.People post on social media for various reasons
-To Keep connections with family, neighbors, friends, colleagues. Maintain long-distance relations. Find new acquaintances and connect with like-minded people.
-To spread the word about work or social and volunteer activities. Spread out a point of view, messages, awareness on some issues. Gain support for a movement.
-To organize events, get-togethers, etc., to give information about wedding, birthdays, anniversaries, sickness, death, etc. To conduct surveys or polls.
-Express opinions, give expert or casual talks and teach. Share creativity or knowledge.
-Get motivational comments on achievements or appearance, get feedback, receive validation for work, interests, activities, etc.
-To avoid feeling of being left behind by near and dear ones.
-To expose or criticize someone, share incidents or simply vent.
-To make memories by looking at past moments.
-For entertainment or sharing a laugh.
-Get motivational comments on achievements or appearance, get feedback, receive validation for work, interests, activities, etc.
-Give support to others or just to pass time.
People who are not good in writing/technical skills may feel left behind and stay away from posting even if they have very good suggestions, ideas, feedbacks, etc. They may just post pictures with no or minimal caption. However, they may spend lot of time on browsing.
Benefits of posting-
There is motivation to do more—travel more, explore more, motivation to strive to look good and cheerful, wear smiles. It saves trail of life events for generations to come.
-Feels fun, good pass time and helps in staying positive with feeling of being loved and liked.
-Gives reassurance and gratification of becoming a voice.
-It is helpful in making genuine and authentic connections.
This act can overcome loneliness as the poster keeps him occupied and finds meaning in connections, help, appreciation, etc.
There is ego satisfaction, show off of wealth/luck/opportunities and happy relations.
Do pictures say something?
Pictures can be interpreted in various ways.
Many pictures with the spouse may indicate that the poster is either in love with him/her or pretending that things are normal between them to avoid rejection by society, or to gain acceptance or to fulfill the desire for a perfect relationship. People may show off a perfect relationship to hide insecurity, turbulence in the relationship, or to increase their own status by linking it to their partner’s achievements or to put social pressure on the partner to stay together.
Lots of picture with children may be a temptation to show a perfect family with good bonding, to show that children are well behaved, well rounded, skillful, disciplined, loving, and respectful. These may be a real reflection of perfect, stable family also.
Taking millions of selfies may indicate the need for recognition and approval from others; inner emptiness, loneliness, and depression. It may also indicate a lot of pride in self or overconfidence. These may work as boosters of self-esteem.
Downside of posting-
Loss of privacy by revealing details about family, extended family, profession, workplace, friend circle, places where we go, our likes, dislikes, mindset, political affiliations.
-The poster can get trolled, or receive negative feedback, advice or comments. There is tendency to fake smile, happiness, and material possessions.
-Screen time takes away the personal time from family and friends.
-People who are browsing may get a wrong impression that others are happier than him or her, Feeling that they are laid back or are not as adventurous and wealthy as other. Depression, isolation, jealousy may set in by assuming that others have perfect relations, work, friends, family, money, free time, etc.
-Pressure to like other people’s post and reciprocate comments.
- Regret may set in after posting something. Anxiety may develop thinking about number of likes and comments.
-Preoccupation of mind and an intense need to frequently check the responses at the stake of many other things.
-Deep-seated wish to see picture or post go viral.
-Change of priorities and friction in relations as it is time consuming.
-Comments and likes can be from people who do not know us personally and therefore are biased by online visibility; these can mislead us and give a false sense of gratification.
-Taking selfies has resulted in many tragedies. People are taking selfies in dangerous situations e.g. on the edge of mountains and cliffs, on trees, very near the water bodies, animals, moving vehicles, on busy roads, bridges, while walking, etc.
Risk of becoming a victim of crime e.g. ID theft, emotional or financial blackmail, etc. Legal troubles can arise. Once posted, your words stays there forever. There is no way to hide it. People have been fired for their posts. Legal cases have been brought against the posters and some have been punished for their posts.
There is a real risk of getting addicted to the screen. Double and triple screen syndrome(made up) is common to see. People are using two or more screens simultaneously. e.g. T.V., computer, ipad, and phone. There is potential risk of living a sedentary life and related health issues.
-Development of tendency to lie e.g. Just going out for 10 min but post shows enjoyable 15-mile run with a nicely taken picture to give authenticity to it.
Who gains by our profiles?
Hackers, Sale Hawks, Advertisement/Marketing companies, Employers, Job Seekers, criminals, enemies.
Screen addiction is not infrequent.
There is a constant craving for posting, checking stuff, urge to keep up with things and fear of missing out (FOMO). In the social media world, people are masking their sadness, loneliness, failures, setbacks, and pain. Most of the time people post happy pictures and positive thoughts even when they are broken from the inside. People who spend a lot of time on social media may miss the interaction with suffering and pain. It is hard for them to learn sympathy, empathy, compassion, and caring attitude. The use of screens cannot be completely avoided but make sure that digital media works for you, and not the other way around. Browse for a set period of time and use screens responsibly. You should be in control and able to decide what you want from the use of screens and then periodically analyze if you are on the right track. Use it for your own benefit, and remember not to get used by it.
Avoid posting unnecessary things and revealing personal minute details. Control the urge to repeatedly check your phone. Engage with real people, do not get anxious by constantly thinking about the number of people who may like your post. Keep yourself free of this behavior. Regularly observe a screen free day or time. Step back and think why you are afraid of missing out, is it really important, is it making you anxious and lonely. Protect your real-world relationships. Social media is not an alternative option for intimate relationships.
Remember that online likes do not translate into real life admiration or relations.
To find out how many online friends really care about you, do this test—
Do not post for a few days and see how many of your online acquaintances reach out to you to see if you are okay or if you need any help. Do people miss you if do not post or they do not even notice your absence from social media?
Develop permanent happiness inside you; it should not depend on your online pictures, status, and comments by strangers. Have an open and honest conversation with family members about screen use. Keep reminding each other of good online practices, safe behavior, and responsibility. Know the risks of irresponsible posts and unlimited screen time. Find something which all family members like and spend screen free time together.
Introduce some activities in your daily life like traveling, reading, walking, writing, cooking, sports, visiting friends and relatives, volunteering, helping the needy or simply look around, observe and infer.
Know that there are de-addiction centers and support systems to help.
How to stay responsible online?
Next time when you post something on social media, ask yourself what is the purpose of posting and will that goal be achieved by posting, are there any risks of posting, are you harming someone by posting?
Post with a purpose and learn from feedback and comments and do not develop a supercilious attitude of self-admiration. Learn to navigate and keep going towards your goal with a well thought off and executed strategy. Do not compete with others for similar or better online visibility. Everyone has different relations and circumstances. It should not lead to any high or low self-esteem.
Accept difference of opinions instead of waging a war on people who do not agree with you.
Bharti Raizada