Online presence Social media was introduced to stay in touch with friends and family but the irony is that users are spending a lot of time on screen but do not talk to real people around them, many times even failing to acknowledge the presence of a person near them.
People post on social media for various reasons
-To Keep connections with family, neighbors, friends, colleagues. Maintain long-distance relations. Find new acquaintances and connect with like-minded people.
-To spread the word about work or social and volunteer activities. Spread out a point of view, messages, awareness on some issues. Gain support for a movement.
-To organize events, get-togethers, etc., to give information about wedding, birthdays, anniversaries, sickness, death, etc. To conduct surveys or polls.
-Express opinions, give expert or casual talks and teach. Share creativity or knowledge.
-Get motivational comments on achievements or appearance, get feedback, receive validation for work, interests, activities, etc.
-To avoid feeling of being left behind by near and dear ones.
-To expose or criticize someone, share incidents or simply vent.
-To make memories by looking at past moments.
-For entertainment or sharing a laugh.
-Get motivational comments on achievements or appearance, get feedback, receive validation for work, interests, activities, etc.
-Give support to others or just to pass time.
People who are not good in writing/technical skills may feel left behind and stay away from posting even if they have very good suggestions, ideas, feedbacks, etc. They may just post pictures with no or minimal caption. However, they may spend lot of time on browsing.
Benefits of posting-
There is motivation to do more—travel more, explore more, motivation to strive to look good and cheerful, wear smiles. It saves trail of life events for generations to come.
-Feels fun, good pass time and helps in staying positive with feeling of being loved and liked.
-Gives reassurance and gratification of becoming a voice.
-It is helpful in making genuine and authentic connections.
This act can overcome loneliness as the poster keeps him occupied and finds meaning in connections, help, appreciation, etc. There is ego satisfaction, show off of wealth/luck/opportunities and happy relations.
Do pictures say something?
Many pictures with the spouse:
Either the poster is truly in love with him/her or pretending that things are normal between them to avoid rejection by society, or to gain acceptance or to fulfill the desire for a perfect relationship. People may show off a perfect relationship to hide insecurity, turbulence in the relationship, or to increase their own status by linking it to their partner’s achievements or to put social pressure on the partner to stay together.
Numerous pictures with children may be a temptation to show a perfect family with good bonding. It may be an effort to show off that children are well behaved, well rounded, skillful, disciplined, loving, and respectful. These pictures may also be a real reflection of a perfect, stable family.
Obsession with selfies may indicate the need for recognition and approval from others; inner emptiness, loneliness, and depression. It may also indicate a lot of pride in self or overconfidence. Selfies can work as boosters of self-esteem.
Downside of posting-
Loss of privacy by revealing details about family, extended family, profession, workplace, friend circle, places where we go, our likes, dislikes, mindset, political affiliations.
-The poster can get trolled, or receive negative feedback, advice or comments. There is tendency to fake smile, happiness, and material possessions.
-Screen time takes away the personal time from family and friends.
-People who are browsing may get a wrong impression that others are happier than him or her, Feeling that they are laid back or are not as adventurous and wealthy as other. Depression, isolation, jealousy may set in by assuming that others have perfect relations, work, friends, family, money, free time, etc.
-Pressure to like other people’s post and reciprocate comments.
- Regret may set in after posting something. Anxiety may develop thinking about number of likes and comments.
-Preoccupation of mind and an intense need to frequently check the responses at the stake of many other things.
-Deep-seated wish to see picture or post go viral.
-Change of priorities and friction in relations as it is time consuming.
-Comments and likes can be from people who do not know us personally and therefore are biased by online visibility; these can mislead us and give a false sense of gratification.
-Taking selfies has resulted in many tragedies. People are taking selfies in dangerous situations e.g. on the edge of mountains and cliffs, on trees, very near the water bodies, animals, moving vehicles, on busy roads, bridges, while walking, etc.
Risk of becoming a victim of crime e.g. ID theft, emotional or financial blackmail, etc. Legal troubles can arise. Once posted, your words stays there forever. There is no way to hide it. People have been fired for their posts. Legal cases have been brought against the posters and some have been punished for their posts.
There is a real risk of getting addicted to the screen. Double and triple screen syndrome(made up) is common to see. People are using two or more screens simultaneously. e.g. T.V., computer, ipad, and phone. There is potential risk of living a sedentary life and related health issues.
-Development of tendency to lie e.g. Just going out for 10 min but post shows enjoyable 15-mile run with a nicely taken picture to give authenticity to it.
Who gains by our profiles?
Hackers, Sale Hawks, Advertisement/Marketing companies, Employers, Job Seekers, criminals, enemies.
Screen addiction is not infrequent. There is a constant craving for posting, checking stuff, urge to keep up with things and fear of missing out (FOMO).
In the social media world, people are masking their sadness, loneliness, failures, setbacks, and pain. Most of the time people post happy pictures and positive thoughts even when they are broken from the inside. People who spend a lot of time on social media may miss the interaction with suffering and pain. It is hard for them to learn sympathy, empathy, compassion, and caring attitude.
The use of screens cannot be completely avoided but make sure that digital media works for you, and not the other way around. Browse for a set period of time and use screens responsibly. You should be in control and able to decide what you want from the use of screens and then periodically analyze if you are on the right track. Use it for your own benefit, and remember not to get used by it.
Avoid posting unnecessary things and revealing personal minute details. Control the urge to repeatedly check your phone. Engage with real people, do not get anxious by constantly thinking about the number of people who may like your post. Keep yourself free of this behavior. Regularly observe a screen free day or time. Step back and think why you are afraid of missing out, is it really important, is it making you anxious and lonely. Protect your real-world relationships. Social media is not an alternative option for intimate relationships.
Remember that online likes do not translate into real life admiration or relations.
To find out how many online friends really care about you, do this test—
Do not post for a few days and see how many of your online acquaintances reach out to you to see if you are okay or if you need any help. Do people miss you if do not post or they do not even notice your absence from social media? Develop permanent happiness inside you; it should not depend on your online pictures, status, and comments by strangers. Have an open and honest conversation with family members about screen use. Keep reminding each other of good online practices, safe behavior, and responsibility. Know the risks of irresponsible posts and unlimited screen time. Find something which all family members like and spend screen free time together.
Introduce some activities in your daily life like traveling, reading, walking, writing, cooking, sports, visiting friends and relatives, volunteering, helping the needy or simply look around, observe and infer.
Know that there are de-addiction centers and support systems to help.
How to stay responsible online?
Next time when you post something on social media, ask yourself what is the purpose of posting and will that goal be achieved by posting, are there any risks of posting, are you harming someone by posting?
Post with a purpose and learn from feedback and comments and do not develop a supercilious attitude of self-admiration. Learn to navigate and keep going towards your goal with a well thought off and executed strategy.
Do not compete with others for similar or better online visibility. Everyone has different relations and circumstances. It should not lead to any high or low self-esteem.
Accept difference of opinions instead of waging a war on people who do not agree with you.
There is a lot of information online. We keep getting messages, memes, jokes, and links to articles, videos, etc. Clicking links and reading messages is a personal choice and many factors determine this choice or behavior.
Some people read almost all messages and open all links and videos. Some have time for all this and some make time for this.
Some people do not click on links or rarely do that. Either because they have no time or they do not want to or there is internet availability, speed, and usage issue.
There are some whose behavior is variable and depends on many factors.
Common behavioral patterns are-
- Nice, genuine, kind-hearted, involved, social people who forward anyone’s messages.
- Some forward selective messages.
- Some forward messages only if they gain something out of it.
- Some forward messages which they really like and can relate to it.
- Some forward or do not forward messages based on political, religious, cultural ideology.
- Some are jealous of others and do not want their stuff to be seen or get widespread views.
- Some are lazy and do not forward anything.
- Some believe in reciprocation only.
- Some do not know how to respond.
- Some have language issues or they cannot express themselves.
- Some are afraid or reserved in revealing their interaction with the poster.
- Some want to show that they are neutral. They do not want to take sides.
- Some may not see the message or post because of social media algorithms.
- Some are afraid of legal consequences.
- Some people have specific agendas to pursue.
Some people think that their stuff is not getting forwarded because other people want to pull their legs down. It may be true but there is another possibility that actually their stuff is not of good quality or content. Likes and comments also depend on the integrity, character, and honesty of posters and past interactions, connections, and experience with them. It also depends on the social and interpersonal relations of posters. Usually, people do not forward the messages of people who have lost their respect and ethics.
People may genuinely miss posts, messages, etc. They may see it after a time lag and may think that it is not appropriate to respond so late.
Sometimes liking too many posts of the same person feels weird and artificial. There are a few people who always like my post. It makes me feel uncomfortable at times. It also may be an indication that they are not reading the content and their likes and comments are based on closeness in relations, reciprocity, fear of losing something, or expectations of getting a favor.
Some are afraid that the social media platform will give a summary or report to the poster that their posts/ pictures were watched by whom. I have personal experience of this. By chances for a few days in a row, I watched someone’s pictures. I was shocked to see that person posting a report generated by social media. That report clearly stated my name as the person who watcher poster’s picture the most.
Sending, receiving, forwarding, reading messages creates or brings on a lot of emotions. Many emotions rush-in simultaneously. When original content is sent, initially there is apprehension, anxiety, fear as the sender does not know how well his messages will be received. Their emotions of wait and curiosity about comments and the number of times it will be shared or forwarded. If the message is received well there are emotions of happiness, elation, and increase in confidence, positivity, and smile. If it is not received well then there is sadness, depression, blame, anger, contemplation, paranoid thoughts, imagining conspiracy, etc.
Bharti Raizada
एक के बाद एक बेहतरीन पोस्ट शेयर करने के बाद भी जब एक भी लाइक नहीं मिला, तब "अर्जुन" का हृदय विदीर्ण हो गया, और एप्पल नाम के अपने मोबाइल को उसने नीचे रख दिया और खिन्न मन से सिर झुका कर सोफे पर बैठ कर अत्यन्त दयनीय दृष्टि से शून्य में ताकते हुए भगवान श्रीकृष्ण से बोला,
हे केशव, हे अच्युत, इन likes और comments की भीड़ में जब मैं अपनी post को अकेला पाता हूँ तब सोचता हूँ कि कि इन post और likes से कुछ नहीं होता है। यह सब समय की बर्बादी के सिवा कुछ नहीं है। अब मैं आपका शिष्य हूँ। आप कृपा करके मुझे सोशल मीडिया का गूढ़ ज्ञान प्रदान करें।
तब श्री कृष्णजी ने अर्जुन के अज्ञान पर हँसते हुए यह वचन कहे:
हे एप्पलधारी, तुम ज्ञान के भेष में अज्ञान की बातें करते हो, क्योंकि एक सच्चे फेसबुकिये और व्हाट्सएपिये को कोई फर्क नहीं पड़ता है चाहे उसे likes और comments मिलें या न मिलें।
तत्पश्चात भगवान ने फेस बुक और व्हाट्सप्प के बाबत निम्न सत्य का ज्ञान उपदेश उसे दिया :--
- हे पार्थ ! जिन्हें तुम्हारे विचार अच्छे लगते हैं, वो बिना पढ़े ही तुम्हारी पोस्ट लाइक करेंगे और जिन्हे नहीं करना होगा, चाहे तुम जो भी लिख लो नही करेंगे।
- मुरलीधर कहते हैं, हे मोबाइल धारी, कुछ महारथी तुम्हारी पोस्ट पसंद तो करेंगे, पर किन्ही कारणवश ग्रुप में दर्शा नही पाएंगे। ऐसे जातक तुम्हारी अन्य किसी माध्यम से ज़रूर प्रशंसा करेंगे ।
- देवकीनंदन सावधान करते हुए बोले, अनेक अस्थिर प्रवृत्ति के मानव, जो तुम्हे पसंद नहीं करते, वो किसी भी स्थिति में तुम्हारी किसी भी पोस्ट को लाइक नहीं करेंगे ,चाहे पोस्ट उन्हें कितनी भी पसंद आई हो।
- प्रभु बोले, परंतु पार्थ, तुम लाइक, शेयर और कमेंट के इस मोह चक्र से अपने को सर्वथा अलग रखना, और सतत् निष्काम भाव से लिखते रहना। आनंद से भरकर अपनी पोस्ट लिखते व शेयर करते रहो। इसी में तुम्हारा कल्याण है।
- गोविंद कहते हैं कि मैसेज लिख कर लाइक्स और कमेंट्स की कामना करना मनुष्य को दुःख के एक ऐसे भंवर में डाल देता है जिससे बाहर निकल पाना सहज ही संभव नहीं होता है।
तुम क्या लाए थे और क्या ले जाओगे?
अतः हे पार्थ निष्काम भाव से पोस्ट करते रहो।
यही सोशल मीडिया का सच्चा ज्ञान है, जिसे तुम जानना चाहते थे और जिसे मैंने अभी तुम्हारे सामने प्रकट किया है।